Blessings and Miseries of Domestic Life
Proverbs 12:4-11
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that makes ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.


I. ELEMENTS OF HAPPINESS IN THE HOME.

1. The virtuous wife. (Ver. 4.) The word is literally "a woman of power," and the idea of force lies in the word and the idea of virtue. Her moral force and influence makes itself felt in all the life of the household (Proverbs 31:10; Ruth 3:11). She is her husband's "crown of rejoicing" (comp. 1 Thessalonians 2:19), his glory and pride.

"A thousand decencies do daily flow From all her thoughts and actions."

2. Noble thoughts and words. (Ver. 5.) This expression includes, of course, noble words and deeds, and implies all that we speak of as high principles. And these are the very foundations and columns of the home. But expressly also the straightforward speech of the good man is named. (Ver. 6.) There is "deliverance" in the mouth of the righteous; men may build upon his word, which is as good as his bond.

3. Hence, stability belongs to the house of the good man. (Ver. 7.) If we trace the rise of great families who have become famous in the annals of their country, the lesson is on the whole brought home to us that it is integrity, the true qualities of manhood, which formed the foundation of their greatness. On a smaller scale, the history of village households may bring to light the same truth. There are names in every neighbourhood known as synonyms of integrity from father to son through generations.

4. Prudence is an indispensable element in character and reputation. But let us give the proper extension to the idea of prudence which it has in this book. It is the wide view of life - the mind "looking before and after," the contemplation of all things in their long issues, their bearings upon God, destiny, and eternity. The prudence which often passes by that name may be no prudence in this higher souse.

5. Self-help. (Ver. 9.) To be "king of two hands," and bear one's part in every useful toil and art, to be a true "working man," is the only honourable and true way of living. "Trust in thyself;" every heart vibrates to that iron string. "Heaven helps those who help themselves." Proverbs unite with experience to bid us lean upon the energies God has placed in brain and hand and tongue. He is never helpless who knows the secret of that self-reliance which is one with trust in God.

6. Mercifulness. (Ver. 10.) The good man "knows the soul of his beast;" enters into their feeling pains, and needs, and feeds them well. The Law of Moses is noted for its kindness to animals. And in the East generally there is a deep sense that animals are not only the slaves of man, but the creatures of God. A person's behaviour to dumb creatures is, like behaviour to women end children, a significant part of character.

7. Industry and diligence. (Ver. 11.) The picture of the hard-working farmer or peasant rises to the mind's eye. Enough bread, competence, is ever conditioned by industry. Times may go hard with the farmer, but the evil that is foreseen and fought against by extra diligence is no evil when it comes; and how seldom are the truly industrious known to want, even in the most unfavourable seasons! This is a bright picture of domestic soundness, happiness, and prosperity. Let us contrast it with -

II. ELEMENTS OF MISERY IN THE HOME.

1. The vicious wife. Like a canker in her husband's bones. The slothful, or drunken, or extravagant, or frivolous wife is the centre of all evil in the house; she is like a stagnant pool in a weed grown garden. One may tell in many cases by the mere aspect of the house whether there be a good wife and mother dwelling there or not.

2. Unprincipled habits. (Ver. 5.) Where the speech is impure, where there is mutual reserve and concealment, conspiracy and counter-conspiracy going on, neither truth nor love, how can a home be otherwise than cursed?

3. Fierce spite. (Ver. 6.) All spite is murderous, and if it does not issue in the last extreme of violence, at least it lacerates the heart, burns, and is self-consuming. When taunts, recriminations, answering again, fill the air of a house, the very idea of the family and its peace must vanish.

4. Dissolution and break up. There are homes that go to pieces, names that sink into obscurity, families that die out; and a moral lesson may here too be often inferred.

5. Moral perversity is at the root of these evils (ver. 8). There is a twist in the affections, a guilty misdirection of the will. Contempt in others' minds reflects the moral basis, and prophesies its miserable end.

6. Idle vanity and pride, again, contrasted with that habit of honest self-help which is free from false shame, is another of the tokens that things are not going well. To be above one's situation, to shun humble employment, to stand upon one's dignity, - these are sure enough marks of want of moral power, and so of true stability.

7. Cruelty, again, to inferiors or to dumb creatures marks the corrupt heart. Even the comparative tenderness of the bad man is a spurious thing, for there is no real kindness from a heart without love.

8. The frivolous pursuit of pleasure, again, the "chase after vanity," opposed to steady industry, is one of the unfailing accompaniments of folly and conducements to failure, poverty, and misery.

LESSONS.

1. The indications of a sound state of things in the household, or the reverse, are numerous and manifold, but all connected together. Partial symptoms may point to widespread and deeply seated evil.

2. At bottom the one condition of happiness is the fear of God and the love of one's neighbour; and the cause of misery is a void of both. - J.



Parallel Verses
KJV: A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

WEB: A worthy woman is the crown of her husband, but a disgraceful wife is as rottenness in his bones.




A Husband's Crown
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